The Lonely Femme Fatale

When the doorbell rings, my eccentric (and stunning) housemate Phoenix rushes to the window to peek out.  Inside that large brain of hers, nefarious thoughts form.  If the person with a finger on the button is male and wearing a necktie, he’s in for a surprise.  She bounces around, bubbling with anticipation as she waits for me to open the heavy door. Although she is an excellent student (in grammar, of all things) and an exceptional swimmer, she lives for practical jokes, and an attractive, well-dressed guy at the front door is an irresistible mark.  I glance at her and … Continue reading

Warm Sex

If you type “warm sex” into google, the first suggestion you’ll get is “warm sexy pajamas.”  Really.  It would seem that women have at least as much trouble finding attractive sleepwear as they do finding good sex. Although I understand the challenges involved in looking sexy in long-johns, I won’t be addressing that problem in this post. (The photo at left is from Victoria’s Secret, so if you happened to drop in while actually searching for warm, sexy PJs, you might check those out.) In my last post about bad sex, you might recall that I promised to talk about what I … Continue reading

Sex & Pink Socks

Occasionally, a woman may need to bite her tongue.  Although that may sound like a kinky sex tip, it isn’t — but I’ll get to that in a minute.  First, let me give you a little background on the Pink Sock Situation. I was in Egypt right before all hell broke loose in January 2011.  While cruising down the Nile (the only major river in the world that flows to the north), my husband and I sent off seven days worth of dirty socks and a couple other items to be washed.  We were traveling light: five people for three … Continue reading

Vampires & Vice

Have you read those headlines that warn: Porn Destroys Marriages or Romance Novels Ruin Relationships? I saw this article on porn addiction and after I stopped laughing about the “how to get them to stop” part, I got to wondering why women don’t find porn as compelling as men.  That got me to wondering why women find romance novels so irresistible (and men mostly don’t). Let me give you the disclaimers first: Too much of just about anything can destroy a relationship: too much bowling, too much shopping, too much snoring.  I don’t happen to believe that porn or romance novels are innately evil, but they can give … Continue reading

How To Tell If a Lawyer Is Lying

“Answer yes or no!” The guy in the expensive suit slams a thick stack of papers down on the desk in front of me. I don’t know what to say.  The question is misleading.  There isn’t an answer. He leans over me, his voice barely controlled. “I repeat: Have you stopped beating your husband?” Okay, that’s not what they asked me, but it was the same sort of twisted question where if you say “no,” you’re admitting that you beat your husband, and if you say “yes,” then you’re admitting that you did beat him.  What would you say?  Answer yes or … Continue reading

About This Blog

This late-night blog is about how people fit together (or not, as the case may be).  Topics include a variety of relationships (mostly human, but the world’s a zoo): Dating, marriage, sex, friendship, children, finding & staying in love, and cooking (go with me, it’s late.) You may ask: Why not stick with sex and call it good?  Well, as Robert Heinlein famously wrote: A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, … Continue reading